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Author's Notes: I normally don't write about TenShinHan; in fact, he's one of my least favorite characters. However, at the request of a contact, I did it. Just for him. Hope ya like it Token!
Warnings: Angst, somewhat dark, themes, and maybe a curse here or there.
Obligatory Disclaimer: I do not own TenShinHan, Lunch, or any other characters in DBZ. The poem belongs to me.
"Can you
still see despite the darkness,
Or are you
blinded, just like me,
Lost within the
darkness
Left simpering
like a child
Pitied by the
gods,
And reviled by the
fates?"
Often I wonder where I would be now if the Saiya-jin had never come to our planet, had they just left us alone, where would I be? Would I be better off? Would I be a famous man, or would I have died in some battle I couldn't win? Times like these leave me pondering as to whether or not I really want to keep on going. Should I curse the Saiya-jin for overcoming every obstacle so easily and leaving us who actually needed a few tries in the dust, or should I thank them for saving our butts so many times?
I don't know what to of myself anymore. Am I still a warrior, or am I just a fallen protector who was just pushed aside? When did things grow so complicated?
The shattered pieces that were once the source of my dignity lay scattered among the growing piles of my lost pride, mingling along with the broken images of past battles and the lost memories whose once burning flame has gone suddenly cold. Without ever having a chance to utter even a sound of dissent, I'm watching destiny tear apart my once flourishing life.
Battles just aren't what they used to be anymore, and friends I thought I once knew so well have come to surprise and disappoint me in so many ways. Even Goku, a man I once thought to be ever-virtuous, never negligent of his friends, has only contributed to the overshadowing of my part in existence and has not once, since the arrival of Vegeta, has he offered a helping hand in returning the light to my life. At one point in my life, I shared the spotlight with Krillin, Goku, and Yamucha. Lately it doesn't seem that way; the Saiya-jins have agenda of their own. Sometimes I wonder if little Goten even knows who I am, or does Gohan ever acknowledge that I was a friend, an ally, at one point? Yamucha's recently been making visits to Lunch and I; he feels it too, the silent shunning. Kami, how I pity his soul, for like the rest of us, the forgotten warriors, he's lost his only joy, and in the process, his dignity, to the Saiya-jins.
Lunch…what would I without her? Probably give up on living in this unforgiving universe. I've been through heaven and hell since I met her. I love her so much, but so rarely do I remind her of this. I've left her alone for months on end, have taken for granted her services for so many years, and have, at times, barely said anything more then a hello to her in my rush for power, yet she's stayed with me the entire way. I can only hope and pray that she'll stay with me until the end.
As my human, mortal body begins to slowly age with time, my importance and relevance in fighting has continued to shrivel to nothingness before the mighty power of the Super Saiya-jins, and with that, my reason for being. I'm a warrior; I've lived by the code my entire life, and now it's killing me to continue doing so.
Perhaps it's time for to hang up my sword, admit defeat, and finally retire to the life my human heritage has dictated to me from the beginning of time. The struggle is over for me; I can see that now. I pray what I've done to contribute to this planet's safety will at least be mentioned in the pages of time. Destiny's cruel, though, and I'm unsure just where to go with my life.
It's ironic, you know. Three eyes to boast and I'm still blindly following the path destiny has paved for me. I can't see where I'm going, cannot walk the poorly paved road before me in the confident strides that Goku and Vegeta perform so well.
Farewell to fighting, my time has come to retire. Perhaps then will I be remembered, and maybe, just maybe, I'll see my way through the blinding darkness…
"When
darkness reigns upon the night,
Never look
straight ahead towards destiny,
The blinded eyes
of those who tried,
Lie broken in the mists of time…"
Questions, comments? E-mail me at ChaoticSerenity3@aol.com. Oh, the poem is my own work, so no copyright on that baby.